Say What?

Okay, so as a mom of two preschooler boys I am constantly breaking up fights, fixing toys, generally keeping the house from destruction as well as making sure Andrew and Sam don't inflict bodily harm on one another or themselves. In doing these things, I have realized recently that some of the things I find myself saying are quite funny, and taken out of context are rather hilarious. I have made a conscious effort to write down a few "one-liners" to post for your reading enjoyment.

1. I don't think the cat is enjoying that as much as you are. (As Sam was decorating Olivia with about 20 stickers)


2. Hands up! (Correcting the apparently hereditary condition of placing one's hands down the front of one's pants to make sure nothing is missing...Andrew went through the same phase, but it did end---thank goodness)


3. No jumping on the rocket! (The boys have an inflatable punching bag in the shape of a rocket that seems to be a great landing surface after a jump from the couch)


4. Stop throwing the fish! (No, not the ones for dinner, but the plastic ones from a fishing game...just sounds funny when I say it out loud)


5. Hands up, please!


6. The shovel won't fit up your nose. (Again, not what you may think, it was a small plastic spade that Sam has and really was attempting a booger extraction with)


7. Please try and walk like a human!!! (Haven't we all had moments when our children's legs seem to transform to spagetti noodles when you need them to exit the furniture store even though they had been functioning just right for the past 15 minutes as said child was running laps around the showroom floor...what were we thinking taking kids furniture shopping)


8. Hands UP! (I say this a lot...too much)


9. Don't jump off the grill (No, not that grill...its a playskool talking grill that Sam was practicing his balancing act on followed by a perfectly executed dismount)


10. I don't remember putting your dessert in your nostrils (I really think restaurants should start offering boogers on the children's menu as Andrew would rather nibble on his own snot than try a bite of ice cream, chicken nuggets, pudding, etc...)


11. The cat's ears do not come off! (A lesson Sam learned about the house cat, and the fact that she cannot be disassembled in the same manner as Mr. Potato Head)


12. For the last time, I said HANDS UP!!!! (Oh, I give up. I just hope this stops soon)

Well, I hope you all enjoy these as much as I did putting them together. I LOVE MY BOYS!!!!